Men seem to think that women don’t really mean it when they say no. And if you persist, they will eventually agree.
GET REAL GUYS.. This is the 21st century, and Modesty isn’t that prevalent a virtue. When a woman says NO.. she means it. And you should just scuttle off and hide (better ask out her prettier friend though).
In fact, recognizing the fact that she knows what she wants, might just get you better returns (with the other women around, that is). Persistence doesn’t always pay, and sometimes it really gets too much…
Like today morning for me…
I dated this guy on the rebound, after my 3 year old relationship broke up. Needless to say, I was emotionally vulnerable, and his straightforward and honest approach to everything after the web of lies I had discovered in my last relationship seemed really attractive. The fact that we worked in the same office (different departments though), and lived within walking distance meant that spending time together wasn’t a problem either. He made me feel good and that was all that mattered then.
A month after we started dating, he was transferred to another country. I knew he had gone only for a short-term project and would be back after 3 months, and when he did come back.. I felt no happiness or excitement on seeing him again, just like I hadn’t felt any sadness when he had left. Quite simply, time to call it quits.
Apparently I hadn’t counted on his feelings (or should I say persistence?) He tried to make me stay, but I refused. I just did not feel anything for him. He tried again after a few months and when I still refused, he seemed to give up finally. In fact, the last time I heard from him, he had apparently fallen in love (a ploy to make me feel jealous??).
Until today morning that is.. He called me up, and in the midst of friendly chit-chat, the old topic cropped again. Asking me to give him another chance, promises about keeping me happy, never giving me any chance to complain about anything; even to the point of telling me that in the past 2 years (yes, its been as long as that) he has changed the habits I hadn’t liked in him (namely, his unpunctuality).
I know it sounds cold-hearted, but the fact is that I don’t even feel sorry for him a bit. If he prefers to live in the What might have been, then its really his call. I have given him no reason to believe that I’ll ever consider a future with him (no meetings, no phone calls), even going to the point of outright saying it. As I did again today.
And yet.. I know he’ll call again in another few months and say the same things all over again (sighhhhh)