Everywhere you look, you will see suggestions on what to give your Valentine but there are no suggestions on what NOT TO GIVE.
So we came up with a list that could hopefully help you avoid the Day of Love Into Day of Disaster. Though I have to say, some choices would be great as pay back to The Horrible EX.
1. A Gym Membership
You may think that our partner could do with losing up some weight, but pointing this out is rarely a good idea, and Valentines’ Day is the worst of bad choices.
2. Tickets To The National Museum Of Crime and Punishment
This Washington based Museum came up with the novel idea “Stealing your loved one’s heart” on Valentines’ Day by taking them to learn about love-related crimes. They even offer to handcuff couples during the tour, and of course gift them handcuffs as a parting Valentine’ gift. While I am all in favor of ‘knowledge’; learning about Crimes, even if they are Crimes Of Passion on Valentines’ Day is not exactly on the top of my wish list.
3. Cooking Classes
Unless you have discussed it before (and that does not mean that it was mentioned once), the message is “I love you, but I hate your cooking.” So, unless you are very, very, very clear about the fact that your partner thinks it acceptable as a Valentine Gift, steer clear from it.
4. Household Goods
For women, even the most perfect Martha Stewart-esque type, such gifts can only bring to mind DRUDGERY. She may really want the revolutionary new vacuum cleaner or the waffle maker, but they are not meant to be gifts EVER. And don’t even think of buying that new theatre system because we know as well as you do, that it’s for you and not for us.
5. Male Enhancement Products
For obvious reasons. Though I would send this to an EX. It is also the perfect gift if you don’t want to enter into any explanations while breaking-up.
6. Sex For Dummies
After 5, do I still need to explain? Though on the other hand, a full-illustrated Kamasutra edition could actually be a great gift.
7. Plastic Flowers
Hey, even gas station flowers are better than that. You don’t have to be extravagant, but don’t be cheap either. Just a single fresh rose bud isn’t that difficult to find or afford.
8. Breath Mints
Is this even a valid gift for any occasion except maybe ‘Let’s Humiliate The Bad Breath People Day’.
9. Tickets To Action Movies/Sport Events
So you have the perfect evening planned - Candlelight, romantic dinner, and movie. But are you sure about the choice of movie? Your gal may love action flicks as much as you do, but not on Valentines’ day. If you can’t stand the sappy chick-flicks, cut the movie off the plan completely. Also, steer clear of Porn, and tickets to any sports events (unless she really is into it). If you are low on cash, cooking or even ordering in isn’t a bad idea, as long as you remember not to poison her accidentally.
10. No Gifts
Even Bad Gifts are better than NONE. And guys, if your partner told you not to get them anything much, you better make sure you get them something extra special or else…