Dating Tips and Advice for Women
A first date is always fraught with uncertainities. You are worried about making a good first impression, wondering what he’ll think of you, and what in the world are you two going to talk about.
But it need not be like this. You need to remember that he’s going through the same uncertainities as you and is as eager to make a good impression.
So why do two perfectly nice people, eager to like and be liked usually end up making a mess of their first date? The following tips are aimed at helping you get over the hurdles of your first few dates smoothly..
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So you have exchanged a few emails and are now curious to hear his voice and interested in taking your interchanges to a more personal level. Time to take stock of some Basic Phone Etiquette:
1. Be Punctual
If you are supposed to call him, make sure that you call on time and are at complete leisure to talk to him then. Also, ensure that there are no background noises or any other external disturbances. The same applies for when you have given him a time to call you up.
2. Read his profile
This will help you know about his interests, likes and dislikes, and give you an idea of what he’s looking for, besides a few topics for conversation. If you both have common interests, you’ll invariably find a lot to talk about, otherwise you could ask him a few leading questions about them.
3. Be Relaxed
Remember that you are at your best when you are relaxed. If you are nervous about how to begin the conversation, you could start with asking him what made him send/accept your invitation. Once you both have got past the initial awkwardness, you’ll find it easier to talk.. just go with the flow.
Tip: Smile when you pick the phone. He’ll hear the smile in your voice.
4. Appreciation Works
Tell him about the things that got you interested in him, he would love to know. It could be anything from his hair style to his smile or just his interest in hiking etc.
5. High Match Scores
If you two had a high match score, it means that very likely you both complement each other’s personalities. For eg. If you are a family oriented person, its likely that you’ll be matched with someone with the same priorities as you.
6. Right Time to Call Next
On an ending note, ask him when would be the right time to call him next. If however, he asks then give him a time when you will be free and able to talk to him easily without any disturbances. DO NOT ask for his email or phone number, he’ll give you his contact information himself once he is comfortable enough with you.
Tip: Generally, the shorter the time between your first and second phone conversations, the more interested he is in you.
Remember these phone conversations are about getting comfortable and informal with him so that when you both meet, there is no awkwardness to mar your pleasure. If you show a genuine interest in wanting to know him, he’ll open up and talk easily to you from thereon.
Setting up a meeting point
Most men would ask you out after a few conversations, say 4 or more, but even if he does not, you could make the first move and ask him out (especially if he’s shy).
Men do appreciate advances from women. Its boosts their self-esteem and makes them feel good about themselves.
For the rendezvous, choose a public place such as a cafe or a restaurant. Do not propose/agree to meet at a lonely place or arrange meetings at either his or your place. You would be far more safer and comfortable meeting up at a neutral place for the first time.
Do’s and Don’ts
DO NOT GET DRUNK. Avoid alcohol completely or limit it especially during your first meeting. Otherwise, you’ll end up giving the impression that you are an irresponsible.
1. Dress Up
He’ll appreciate the fact that that you took the effort to look nice for him. You don’t have to look like a celebrity to impress him on your first date. Just wear something that looks good on you.
DO NOT wear a too-revealing dress for your first few dates. There will be plenty of opportunities later for that if the relationship works out.
Remember: An essential part of looking good is feeling good about yourself.
2. Etiquette Matters
Smile when you first meet him, it makes a first good impression. If you are meeting for lunch or dinner, brush up your table manners. Most importantly, be polite and courteous.
Tip: If you like something about him, remember to compliment him on it. Your appreciation should be genuine, otherwise he’ll see through it.
3. Get Comfortable
To get over the initial awkwardness of the first meeting, you could try picking up a topic from your previous phone conversation. Cracking a joke or making a funny comment will also lighten up the atmosphere and put you both at your ease.
If he is the shy type, make efforts to draw him out to talk about himself and make him feel comfortable. You could do this by asking him about his future plans and discusiing your own with him.
DO NOT talk about your previous relationships.
Pay attention to what he’s saying. Asking questions would show that you are involved in his conversations, but do not interrupt him. Wait for a pause in the conversation to do so. Maintaining eye contact during the conversation also shows that you are interested in him.
Don’t act distracted. Switch off your mobile if necessary.
5. Go Dutch Initially
You could equally divide or pick your own tab yourself. But if he insists on paying, don’t force the issue too much.
6. Follow Up
Call him up in a day or two to tell him that you enjoyed your time together. It would also be the right opportunity to set up another date.
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