Expecting Expectations! - Woman versus Man

"Sarah....I am sorry but I guess we'll have to part our ways," proposed wrinkled fore headed James who had once proposed an everlasting togetherness to Sarah.

He looked down to escape her searching eyes that were looking desperately for any remainder of their four year's of love and passion in his eyes.

"James...is there really no way out?"

"We have not been able to keep up to each other's expectations."

"Expectations James!!!" Sarah stood up firmly, unzipped her wallet, left ten dollars on the table for her share of pizza, and before slamming the door, slapped him and snapped, "Yes James, the individual in me has now trespassed the woman in me to keep up to your expectations."

Are you this dazed James or bewildered Sarah whose date, love or marriage is breaking up because of unkempt and unfulfilled expectations? Is it that your expectations voice the dichotomy of gender - man and woman? What else could have Sarah meant when she said 'the individual in me has now trespassed the woman in me...'?

Nowhere else is the 'gender difference' more visible than in the 'expectations' that man and woman pursue. Difference doesn't mean negation. If it were to be the concept of nature, we wouldn't have been the descendants of Adam and Eve. Difference means analysis and strategy that needs both your head and heart.

Let's have a dig at the different partner expectations that man and woman entertain, expectations that are natural to their being.

For the woman the expectations range on the scale of 1 to 10 in seriousness or triviality, from expecting bouquets to commitment.

To categorize, woman entertain, whim and fancy the following expectations from their male counterpart.

Roses - Woman do carry their teenage hangover till romance lasts, teenage hangover that demands roses that could pink their every date, their special occasions from anniversary to birthday to valentine day.

Chocolates and Sweets - Bar those on dieting or sugar-free food freak, no woman would mind chocolates that would make their long kiss more melodious.

Gifts - Gifts that compliment her beauty and your love are most welcome especially those unexpected gifts bought without an occasion. If the woman is in love she'll not measure the worth of your gift with its price and if it is your first date, she might as well check this. So guys, check out your pocket on your first date!!!

Adoration and Praise - Every woman in her own rights want to be the most beautiful in the eyes of her man. Never be tired of repeating that she is beautiful.

Commitment - Spoken or unspoken, codified or verbal, but woman does need commitment that you'll never go or let her go.

Sincerity - She knows that she is sincere. She also knows that it is hard for man to keep up. But still she expects sincerity.

Weekend Trips, Movies and Parties - Life must be spiced up always and after all when other than trips, movies, parties or bed, do you give time to one another in your busy lives.

Career Support - Every woman wants a man who can compliment and support her career.

Seduction - Even when the woman need not be seduced always, but she'll still like her man to take the initiative.

A Progressive Man - Your woman wants to see you at the top of your career. Your success is her asset.

Comparisons - Compare her with other women if you seriously want to ease off the relationship. This is the last thing a man should do to her woman.

In the society of equals, there aren't dogmatized men who expect only submission from woman. But like women, men too keep their share of expectations:

Love and Care - He loves you less or more, but he wants to remain the centre of her woman's universe. He would want you to make your house a home with your love, compassion and care.

Confidence - Every man likes a woman who is confident about both her womanhood and humanity.

Less Questions - Man don't like being quizzed. You shower a volley of questions at him and he is pissed off.

Ego Massage - Your man could like to take an ego trip sometime. Not because he considers his gender superior and worth of an ego, but because he wants to know that he rules over your heart and you love him.

Cooperation and Suggestion - He would want to share his office problems and frustrations with you. Don't leave him with his manly fortitude at the time of crisis. He needs your cooperation.

Good Mother - Man can't pamper kids for more than an hour. Even if he does so, he cannot play mother for long. He expects you to take the larger responsibility here also as nature already has entrusted you the responsibility of nurturing the seed for nine months.

Freshness - Can you find a single man who would restrain old wine and fresh fish? Even when she is getting off youth, he expects his lady to maintain and look her best.

Reciprocal in Bed - He might initiate, but he wants equal participation from his woman in bed. Sometimes, he expects you to take the drivers seat.

Categorized thus, do all man and woman respect their gender differences and understand the expectations of their partners?

For Sarah and James, fulfillment of their individual expectations had been central to the success of their relationship which thus failed. In another case, Janet and Mark had a day when....

... it had been three hours since Janet's return from her office, but Mark would not even take her call let alone the promise to take her out for dinner. Did he forget his promise as always or did he forget the day.

Impatiently patient Janet finally heard the rattle of his car and ran out to him.

"I am....I am sorry Janet... Actually I was..." gurgled Mark when Janet intervened "You were stuck up with a meeting that was unscheduled and indispensable. Right?"

"Ya... I am sorry. I promised you dinner after months and I..." again took over Janet "you were feeling helpless. Mark, it doesn't matter if at the end of the day we are together."

Mark came closer, kissed her, and whispered in her ear while walking in, "thanks for being this amazing wife, thanks for completing my sentences.....wow!!!''

A candle lit table with a bouquet, cake and food delicacies was awaiting Mark.

He knelt down, withdrew a ring from his vest, "Janet, my love, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!"

"I LOVE YOU MARK."

Like every woman Janet expects Mark to keep up his promises especially for the special days and at the same time, like every woman, she wants her man to progress at work.

To their expectations that were likely to get sick for the clash among them, they offered the remedial pill of patience and understanding, keeping their expectations alive and thus the essence and liveliness of their relationship.

Janet understands the expectations of Mark and offers him understanding, flowers, cake, candle and food when he is most guilty of not having fulfilled her expectation and Mark overcomes his unfulfilled promise with a sweet anniversary gift that Janet would treasure the most.

Wish you all understand and respect your differing expectations and get as cozy, comfortable and happy in relationships as Janet and Mark for whom expectations instead of a handicap as in Sarah and James case, work a cementing bond till the end!!!

Author - Shelly Bhoil

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